Posts Tagged ‘gender’

A Great Habit for Godly Gals (Guys too)

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012

On the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood blog there is a fantastic post about wives doing prayer journals for their husbands and their children. Kim Campbell offers six (very simple) steps to doing this well.

1) Get paper
2) Get a pen/pencil/crayon
3) Get a Bible
4) Pray
5) Save
6) Gift

I would like to share an excerpt from step number three, “Get a Bible.”

    Get a Bible: One of the MUSTS for this type of praying is that you pray Scripture over your spouse/children. What Phyllis taught me is that I don’t need books or even to be really creative, I just need God’s Word. She trusts in its sufficiency, and so do I. You don’t have to start a new reading plan – just read. If you want to, start with the Psalms, or one of Paul’s epistles or (gasp!) even the book of Deuteronomy. Pray these Scriptures for your husband/children. Here is an example from Psalm 112:

    Praise the LORD!
    Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
    who greatly delights in his commandments!
    His offspring will be mighty in the land;
    the generation of the upright will be blessed.
    Wealth and riches are in his house,
    and his righteousness endures forever.
    Light dawns in the darkness for the upright;
    he is gracious, merciful, and righteous.
    It is well with the man who deals generously and lends;
    who conducts his affairs with justice.
    For the righteous will never be moved;
    he will be remembered forever.
    He is not afraid of bad news;
    his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD.
    His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
    until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.
    Psalm 112:1-8

    “Father, I praise you and thank you that you have given me a Psalm 112 husband. Thank you for answering that prayer. I thank you that E fears you more than he fears man and that he takes great delight in your word each morning, even as we are going through James this year as a couple. I pray that our children, even this little one in my tummy right now, will be blessed to follow and know you and dwell richly and mightily in the land as they seek you wholeheartedly because of your grace and the display of faithfulness of their earthly Father (all because of grace). Thank you for allowing my E to show me grace and mercy when I fail, and fail miserably at times. Thank you also that he pursues you and righteousness. Continue to weigh in his heart and his actions so that they might please you. I praise YOU that E is a generous man who does not hoard the money that you have blessed us with but wants our giving and our home to be a place of blessing for others. May we continue to live in that way. I pray Lord, that even in difficult times, that you would make his heart strong and firm in you – knowing that you never change and that you will lead him in righteousness (Psalm 23). Do not let him coward and be afraid, but be bold and know that you are God until the day that you make him triumph over his enemies for the glory of God in the world.”

You can read the whole post here.

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Happy Marriages Are Made in Heaven

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

I was eating from Proverbs this morning and came across Proverbs 19:14, “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” I immediately thought of my own wonderful wife as I read this (ladies, would your husband do the same?) and rejoiced in God’s generosity towards me.

I thought Matthew Henry’s thoughts on this proverbs were worth sharing in full.

    A discreet and virtuous wife is a choice gift of God’s providence to a man—a wife that is prudent (wise), in opposition to one that is contentious, v. 13. For, though a wife that is continually finding fault may think it is her wit and wisdom to be so, it is really her folly; a prudent wife is meek and quiet, and makes the best of every thing. If a man has such a wife, let him not ascribe it to the wisdom of his own choice or his own management (for the wisest have been deceived both in and by a woman), but let him ascribe it to the goodness of God, who made him a help meet for him, and perhaps by some hits and turns of providence that seemed casual brought her to him. Every creature is what he makes it. Happy marriages, we are sure, are made in heaven… It is a more valuable gift than house and riches, it gives more to the comfort and credit of a man’s life and the welfare of his family, it is a greater token of God’s favour, and about which the divine providence is in a more especial manner conversant. A good estate may be the inheritance of fathers, which, by the common direction of Providence, comes in course to a man; but no man has a good wife by descent or entail. Parents that are worldly, in arranging for their children, look no further than to give them a house and riches, but, if it be a prudent wife, let God have the glory. (Henry, M. (1996). Matthew Henry’s commentary on the whole Bible : Complete and unabridged in one volume (Pr 19:14). Peabody: Hendrickson.)

Some Questions to Ponder

1) Guys: Is wisdom something I value in the woman I am looking to marry?
2) Guys: Are you intentionally seeking to become a wise man in order to bring joy to a wise wife?
3) Gals: Is growing in wisdom one of your top priorities right now so you will become a “gift” from God to your husband?
4) Gals: What are things you can do in order to make sure your a blessing to your future husband and not a curse?

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Wisdom for Raising Boys

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

Douglas Wilson:

    Boys should be taught that they are to protect their sisters “from the dragon,” and the very first thing this means is that they must refrain from turning into the dragon themselves. When the protector turns into the very thing that protection is needed from, the result for the girl involved is nightmarish. The things you assumed as fixed and given turn on you; one thing morphs into another. When a brother is being annoying (say, for a wild hypothetical), his sister is dealing with two things, not one. The first thing is the annoyance itself — what she would be dealing with if her sister or a friend at school were being annoying.

    But when her brother does it, a second thing comes into the picture, and that is the sense of a double-cross, or a betrayal. He ought be standing between the threat and his sister, but instead he has abandoned his post. It is this that feeds the temptation to resentment — first of her brother, then her father (who does not intervene), and then of men generally.

You can read the whole article here.

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A Letter from a Wife of a Passive Man

Friday, December 2nd, 2011

A sad, but widely experienced situation:

    The kids are in bed. There’s nothing on TV tonight. I ask my
    husband if he minds if I turn the tube off. He grunts. As I walk to the
    set my mind is racing. Maybe, just maybe tonight we’ll talk. I mean
    have a conversation that consists of more than my usual question
    with his mumbled one-word answer or, more accurately, no answer
    at all. Silence—I live in a world with continuous noise but, between
    him and myself, silence. Please—oh God, let him open up. I initiate
    (once again; for the thousandth time). My heart pounds—oh, how
    can I word it this time? What can I say that will open the door to just
    talk? I don’t have to have a DEEP MEANINGFUL
    CONVERSATION. JUST SOMETHING!

    As I open my mouth—he gets up and goes to the bedroom. The door
    closes behind him. The light showing under the door gives way to
    darkness. So does my hope. I sit alone on the couch. My heart begins
    to ache. I’m tired of being alone. Hey, I’m married. I have been for
    years. Why do I sit alone? The sadness undergoes a change slowly—
    then with increased fervor I get mad. I AM MAD. I am sick and tired
    of living with a sissy. A wimp—a coward. You know, he’s afraid of
    me!

    Hostile, you say. You better believe it. I’m sick and tired of living in
    a world of passive men.

    My two sons like sports. They’re pretty good. They could be a lot
    better if their Dad would take a little of his precious time and play
    catch with them. (I’m sorry, catch once a year at the church picnic
    doesn’t quite make the boys into great ball players.) But Dad’s too
    busy. He’s at work. He’s at the health club. He’s riding his fourwheeler.
    He’s working on the car. He’s playing golf. He’s tired. He’s watching a video movie. So who plays catch with my boys? Me.

    My husband says, “You shouldn’t be playing men’s sports.” So who’s
    going to do it? He says he will. But he doesn’t. Remember? He’s too
    busy. Satisfying himself doing what he likes. . . . So my poor sons
    have to be second-rate in sports. They could have been good. Really
    good. Yeah—I’m mad.

    My daughter is a teenager. She likes boys. They notice her. They pay
    attention to her. She responds. I know what’s coming. I try to talk to
    her. But it’s not me she wants. It’s Dad. Yeah, Dad! If he’d just hug
    her, notice her, talk to her—just a little—she wouldn’t need those
    boys so much. But no . . . so she turns elsewhere for attention and
    love. And there’s nothing I can do.

    A mom isn’t enough. Kids need a father. And not just a body, a
    passive, silent presence.

    And here’s the killer. My husband’s father did the same number on
    him. Didn’t hug him. Didn’t take him to anything, let alone watch
    his baseball games. And he HATES his father. Now my husband’s
    doing the same thing. Will our sons grow up to be passive? Will they
    be cowards?

Man up boys. There is much to prepare for.

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Presidential Candidates and the Bible: How Much of It Do You Believe?

Saturday, August 20th, 2011

Stephen Prothero, a Boston University professor of religion, posted a blog concerning the two presidential candidates, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry, who profess faith in Jesus and dependence on the Bible. He questions how far their belief in the Bible as God’s Word will go especially in the parts that are disdained by the general American public.

In the post he offers five scriptures he desires the candidates to give their position on. If you want to read the full post you can click here, but I will give a few thoughts here.

SUBMISSION AND THE PRESIDENCY

The first scripture is directed right at Bachmann (a woman). She is asked by Prothero (and many other Americans) where she stands on scriptures such as Colossians 3:18, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands.”

Prothero simply asks,

    I would like to know whether Bachmann will say the same about her evangelical Protestantism. If her husband tells her to veto a bill, will she submit to him? Is there any separation for her, as there was for Kennedy, between her private religious doctrines (in this case, that wives should be submissive to their husbands) and her public responsibilities (to act as “the decider”)?

Although this may seem like a cheap shot, I think it is a very important question to answer and to play it off as it isn’t is to deny the beauty in our God given roles in gender.

I believe full heartedly that the Bible says men and women are equal in value, but different in function. Men are not better than women, they’re different. Women are not better than men, they’re different. Where is the difference seen? In their function as man and woman. Men have bee given the privilege and responsibility to authoritatively shepherd their families, their churches and their communities. Men are responsible for those they have been given to care for. Women, on the other hand, have been given the beautiful role as “helper” (Genesis 1:18). This role is not just realized in a marriage context, but it is part and parcel to who women are as created beings. Now some of you may be exploding in anger toward me thinking I am playing fast and loose with the Bible. Before you set your lasers from stun to kill please read these articles (One, Two, Three, Four, Five) that address the doctrines of gender a bit more fully than I can here

My question is, with the view of gender roles in mind, how does Bachmann plan on being the leader of the United States when she is called to be submissive to her husband as to the Lord? How will she reconcile her call to joy-filled submission to her husband in everything when her husband must submit to her as Mrs. President? My tone is not not cynical in asking this, but it is curious question wanting to hear how this sister will be able to be the woman and wife she has the call and joy to be while taking on the lead role in the USA?

THIS PROFESSOR WOULD FAIL MY BIBLE CLASSES

One thing that struck me in this post by Prof. Prothero was his apparent lack of understanding of the Bible and basic skills of interpretation. For example, he quotes Matthew 6 where Jesus speaks about praying in your room in private and interprets that as a command to never pray in public. Really? A professor on religion? He fails to see the obvious intent of Jesus’ teaching in this passage is against hypocritical and self-seeking prayers and not about praying in public. Another mark of embarrassment for the professor is found when he quotes Exodus 20:13 and then says this posses a problem for the two candidates on their position of capitol punishment. He fails to recognize that this commandment has to do with pre-meditated, unjust murder and not killing; especially that of the state. The other two scriptures he brings us are also laughable, but the take home on this point is this: just because a dude is supposed to be an “expert” on something doesn’t mean he is.

IS THE BIBLE YOUR PILOT OR YOUR POLISH?

Although I am very disappointed in this professor of religion’s gross mishandling of the Bible, I mean seriously man my high school students would laugh at you, his conclusion is worth some reflection:

    I understand the impulse to draft Jesus into your political campaign. At least in U.S. politics, Jesus is good for business. But if you are going to call Jesus to your side, you need to let voters know how that affects your politics. Might you change your mind if you saw that a political position of yours was contradicted by the Bible? Or is the Bible a dead letter, useful for invoking divine authority but never for correction or reprove?

The relevance of this paragraph for our presidential candidates is obvious, but we shouldn’t let the question apply to them alone. We must ask ourselves the question that is asked in this paragraph: Is the Bible our inerrant (all-true in everything) and authoritative guide of our lives or is it just something we use to adorn our opinions, thoughts and actions to make them more attractive? Is God’s Word your Pilot, which directs you in every aspect of word, thought and deed? Or is the Bible your polish? That is, is it something you use to make everything else you decide to do and think look good?

Don’t let this question go on without examination.

How much of the Bible determines your life?

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A Great Sermon on Gender

Monday, May 9th, 2011

I had a brilliant and passionate theology professor at BIOLA whose name is Erik Thoennes. Professor Thoennes was one of my favorite professors because he spoke the truth in love always. He wanted us to know the truth and have the truth of God’s Word change us. He wanted the gospel to daily kill the old man and nurture the new man in us. He makes my GOAT list (Greatest Of All Time).

Anyhow, he is a teaching pastor at his church and I have found one of his sermons on iTunes about gender and I want to pass it along to you. Listen to the sermon and observe how Professor/Pastor Thoennes effectively deals with the cultural confusion about gender and then wisely lays out the scriptural truths about gender without entering into any unwarranted or unbiblical extremes. Also, notice the pastor’s heart for his people. Thoennes doesn’t simply dish out doctrine, but he steadfastly seeks his people to live according to the sound doctrine of the Bible (Titus 2:1).

I hope it finds you well. Be blessed.

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For the Ladies

Saturday, May 7th, 2011

Hello Ladies,

Mother’s Day is tomorrow, so I thought a word to all the ladies out there would be appropriate. I hope this blesses you to know how blessed your womanhood is by Jesus and how much He values His girls.

I love you all and I want you all to know how precious you are to the King. To often your attacked in explicit and subtle ways. Whether your mistreated by girl friends or taken for granted or advantage of by men, I hurt for you. In Christ, you are True Princesses of the Mighty King. I want you to know that better than anything else. In Him, you are precious to the Father and you have His eye.

Let me offer a few reasons why you should rest in Christ as a woman. Think with me for a moment about the things God has said in His Word that show how much He desires your good:

    1) HE COMMANDS MEN TO DEFEND YOU: Throughout the Bible, God commands men to fight and defend the women (Numbers 1:2–3; Deuteronomy 3:18–19; 20:7–8; 24:5; Joshua 1:14; 23:10; Judges 4:8–10; 9:54; 1 Samuel 4:9; Nehemiah 4:13–14; Jeremiah 50:37; Nahum 3:13). Don’t take this as a de-valuing of women, but actually see it as a mark of God’s love. He wants you to be fought for, not to fight. He wants you to be protected, not to have to protect yourselves. He wants you to be looked after, not to be by yourself. Any Father worth the title would never want his daughter near harm’s way. Neither does the Lord.

    2) HE WON’T LISTEN TO MEN WHO DISRESPECT YOU: Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1 Peter 3:7

    3) HE COMMANDS HUSBANDS TO LOVE THEIR WIVES LIKE JESUS LOVES THE CHURCH (Ephesians 5:25): This means God commands men to tend to the needs of their wives’ more than they tend to their own bodies, seek their wives’ good over their own, consider their wives’ desires, provide for their wives’, be committed to their wives forever, and to die for their wives both everyday and when true death is a danger. That means, God commands men to protect the women even if it results in their death. Sounds like a list a Father would demand for his son-in-law. God cares deeply about His girls and He calls the men to care as He does.

    4) YOU BEAR HIS IMAGE AND HAVE HIS EYE: Genesis 1:27 clearly teaches that God made men and women in His image. Women do not bear any less resemblance to God then men. God has given them the same value in essence as men. They are equally as valuable in His eyes, but, from what is said above, He calls His men not to treat them as equals, but better.

    5) HE BLESSES YOU WITH THE TASK OF HOMEBUILDER AND CHILDBEARER: He has given women the responsibility and privilege of ushering precious children into this world and then to nurture them to adulthood. In today’s society, children are devalued, neglected and seen as a problem. Too many is intrusive. Too needy is annoying. Too soon is aborted. But this is not how children are viewed in the Bible. They are nothing less than a gift to rejoice over (Psalm 127:3-5); blessings from God. He can give you no greater, difficult and more important task than being mom. In the marketplace, paychecks are earned and that’s about it, but in the home, souls are nurtured, children are raised, love abounds, and legacy is built. Paychecks can never arise and call you blessed, but your children can (Proverbs 31:28).

    6) YOU ARE NEEDED HELP: Genesis 2:18 teaches that women are God’s gift to men. Not a slave, not a servant, but a helper. If I can be honest with you right now, I truly could not do what I do at South Shores if Chawna was not who she is. She prays for me, encourages me, helpfully and gently critiques and offers truth when I need it. God has given women the special, and very difficult task, of helping His men because He knows they need it.

    7) YOUR INNER BEAUTY IS OF GREAT WORTH IN HIS SIGHTt: As you continue to become the woman God desires you to be and your beauty from within continues to increase, please know that heaven is not ignorant of you. 1 Peter 3:4-5 says that the beauty from God’s women is of great worth in His sight.

    8). YOU ARE AN HEIR: God has much in store for His women. Continue to look to Him, believe in His gospel today and desire what He will reward you with later because you, dear woman, are an heir of the Kingdom come. Your name is on His list.

    9) JESUS DIED FOR YOU: Galatians 3:28. God spent the precious blood of His Son to have you. You are loved. Not because you were lovable (because you too were sinners like the dudes), but because He loved you and worked for your good. You are dearly loved Beloved. Know this. Everyday.

I hope these few words encourage you. You are greatly valued by the King and His men. We need you ladies. Our present and future generations need you. Godly women are few. Rise up and follow the King today so we may be blessed by Christ in you.

In one last effort to bless you, below are a few books that may help you become the woman God calls you to be. I know examples are hard to find, so I hope these may help you continue further as a stranger in foreign land.

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